Rituals for uncertain times
Kids seem to thrive on routine.
For some little people it’s not a big deal but for others, a break in routine can be catastrophic, leading to temper tantrums, meltdowns or just plain crankiness. And if your little one thrives on routine, then 2020 may have been a disaster and 2021 isn’t shaping up too well either.
With Victoria returning to a COVID related Circuit Breaker lockdown this week, I reflected on how I managed the abrupt disruption to my routine as an adult. While my days looked very different from what was planned, there were many little rituals that I maintained. Whether out of habit or because of an intuitive understanding that they’ll keep me grounded, I still started each day with yoga and a cup of tea. I still ended each day by watering the garden, picking tomatoes, basil, silver beet or rhubarb for dinner. And I still picked up my knitting while I sat on the couch watching TV before bed. Add in the more mundane tasks of having a shower, brushing teeth, doing the dishes and putting out the bins and there was quite a lot of familiarity in my days.
There are some things that can become magical touchpoints in your child’s life that can help them feel settled and grounded no matter where you are or how topsy-turvy your day has been.
Here are three little rituals that I treasured when my children were young:
1. Home again, home again, jiggedy jig
Inherited from my own mother, I would say this little rhyme every time we arrived home from an outing - big or small, in the car or on foot.
“To market, to market
To buy a fat pig
Home again, home again
Jiggedy jig”
Still to this day (with kids that are 21, 19 and 14) we say “Home again, home again, jiggedy jig” as we arrive home!
2. Candle burning bright
A beautiful ritual from playgroup that we adopted at home was to light a candle at the table for meal times. Whether it was morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea or dinner, our little candle was lit to mark this special pause in the day to eat together. (We never did it at breakfast but I’m not sure why now? Perhaps I was just too tired and grumpy at that time of the day!)
The candle set the tone of food lovingly prepared (even when it was just tomatoes and carrot hurriedly chopped) and often prompted a more elaborate table setting. Sending the children out to the garden to pick flowers for the table often bought me a moment of peace when at my most frazzled in the kitchen. Yellow soursobs or tiny clover flowers were carefully placed in a vase and welcomed with just as much excitement as a prize rose.
While we haven’t continued this little ritual in our daily life, candles certainly take pride of place on our table at special occasions still today.
3. A little bit of butter
Another food ritual! This time it was adopted from a kind friend who would make muffins with my oldest child. Every time the butter went in she would say…
“A little bit of butter will surely make it better”
…and it became a favourite saying in our house too. Whether we are making muffins, spreading butter on toast or melting it onto corn on the cob.
A moment of gratitude for a simple pleasure!
No matter how small your rituals, they are bound to bring moments of comfort, peace and joy into your day and help the little people in your life feel safe, grounded and loved.
I’m pretty sure they’ll also create family memories that you will look back at fondly when your little ones are all grown up!
Do you have a favourite family ritual?
