The Gratitude Jar

After doing my ‘good deed’ for the day and defusing yet another sibling squabble, I began to notice a pattern. These small, seemingly disconnected moments were gently pointing me towards a bigger idea: maybe gratitude doesn’t have to be saved for the quiet, peaceful times. Maybe it lives right here, in the everyday chaos.

It started with a trip to the shops…
I was returning the trolley when I noticed the big trolley on the left was stopping the small one from nesting properly. I only had to move one trolley to fix it, easy. As I stepped back, a lady returning her trolley smiled and said, “Well done, that’s your good deed for the day!” I laughed. Was it really that simple? One good deed and I’m done?

But of course, as a parent, there’s no shortage of ‘good deeds’. They’re never done. They're baked into the everyday… packing lunches, wiping counters (and bottoms), refereeing arguments and doing school drop-offs.

Speaking of arguments…
The next moment that brought this all together was a classic sibling squabble. My kids were locked in a passionate debate over a party bag toy. You know the kind… plastic, forgotten for years, suddenly worth its weight in gold.

As the bickering reached full volume, something stirred in me. We are so lucky to even have the possessions we have!
(Cue deep breath.)

Maybe we all just needed a little reminder.

It made me think: how do we help our little ones find and express gratitude?

A simple family ritual to build connection, reflection, and kindness
Creating a gratitude jar is a lovely way to notice the good moments in your day, no matter how big or small. It’s also a gentle opportunity to talk with children about how others in the world may be going through different experiences, and how we can hold both appreciation and compassion at the same time.

Our Gratitude Jar, with tiny drawings of the things we are grateful for today.
Stickers, Ice cream & Trees.

How to make a gratitude jar:

1. Find a jar or tin can, recycled or repurposed works perfectly.

2. Decorate it together with stickers, tissue paper, paint pens or ribbon, anything you have at home.

3. Add your notes and drawings. Each day or evening, invite each family member to draw or write something they’re grateful for. It could be a warm meal, a kind word, the sunshine, or a silly moment.

4. Include kindness thoughts. Occasionally, you can also invite reflections like:
   “Is there someone we’re thinking of today?”
   “What could we do to help someone else feel seen or supported?”
   These don’t need to be heavy, just small, thoughtful moments that help children feel grounded and connected to a wider world.

5. Make it a ritual. Keep the jar in a central spot, like the dining table, and let it be part of your family’s rhythm, a pause to notice what you have, and how you care.

I asked Master 4 what he was grateful for. Without missing a beat, he said “Ice cream!”

He drew a big, colourful cone with scoops of apple, peach and mango, and proudly dropped it into the jar.

Then Miss 7 chimed in “My new stickers!” She stuck one on a little note, labelled it and added it too.

Now, I have to share this: just as I turned to my husband and asked what he was grateful for, Master 4 yelled from the bathroom, “Daddy, I’m ready for you to wipe my bottom!” And well, there it was, his answer, perhaps put in his mouth quite literally. We all burst out laughing. Parenthood summed up in a single moment.

Now our gratitude jar lives on the dining table. Most nights we sit together and either add something new, reflect on what’s already in there, or simply chat about one thing from the day that made us feel thankful.

For me, it’s family life. Even though it’s messy, loud, and often underappreciated, maybe the magic lies in recognising the good we do each day, and sharing that. When we notice our own gratitude…even in the chaos, it teaches our kids to do the same. And that, I think, is the kind of 'good deed’ that really does last all day.